Reviewed byPolina BelovaPsychologist · updated 11.11.2026
Key facts
- Who provides it
- A psychotherapist or clinical psychologist experienced in working with the families of people with addiction
- Format
- Individual sessions, a support group for relatives, online consultations; in person in Almaty and Astana
- Duration
- Individual sessions last 50–60 minutes, group sessions 90–120 minutes once a week; the core course is 8–16 sessions
- Confidentiality
- Medical confidentiality: neither your loved one nor your employer will learn that you sought help; no registration with the state dispensary
- When it is urgent
- Threats, violence, an overdose, or delirium tremens in your loved one: call 103, 112, or the police at 102; if you have thoughts of death, call 112
- Outcome
- Less anxiety and guilt, clear personal boundaries, and decisions about your own life that you make yourself
What to know
Most people who find this page are the wives, husbands, mothers, and adult children of people with an alcohol, drug, or gambling addiction. For years they have been searching for a way to make their loved one quit, and they barely think about themselves. I want to say it plainly: help is not only for the person who is using. You have the right to support even if your loved one is not yet ready for treatment. And your own recovery often becomes the first real step toward change for the whole family.
This page is specifically about helping the relative as a person in their own right. If you want to persuade your loved one to get treatment, the sections on motivation and intervention cover that in detail. If your loved one is already in treatment and the family needs to rebuild its relationships, family therapy will help. Here, we focus on how to get back your sleep, your peace of mind, and your own decisions, and how to stop living in a constant state of anxiety, control, and waiting for the next relapse.
Signs That a Loved One’s Addiction Is Already Running Your Life
- you constantly check your loved one’s phone, pockets, and bank accounts, looking for signs of use
- you pay off their debts, call their workplace with excuses, and hide the problem from the rest of the family
- your mood depends entirely on whether they are sober today
- you feel guilty for their relapses and think you are not trying hard enough
- you have given up seeing friends, hobbies, and rest because you “can’t leave them alone”
- you sleep poorly, get sick often, and snap at your children or coworkers
- you have issued ultimatums many times but never followed through
If life is at risk — loss of consciousness, seizures, hallucinations, overdose, suicidal thoughts — call 103 or 112. Helpline for children and young people: 150.
How Codependency Develops
Codependency almost never starts suddenly. At first, the relative simply tries to help: covering up, persuading, trying to cure the problem on their own. Every relapse triggers fear, and the person tightens control. Gradually, caring turns into over-responsibility: you take charge of someone else’s sobriety and put your own needs on hold. The harder you try, the fewer consequences the person with the addiction faces, and the less reason they have to change.
Personal history also plays a part. People who grew up in families affected by addiction or harsh control often learn from childhood to be “easy to live with,” to read adults’ moods, and to smooth over conflicts. In a relationship with someone who has an addiction, these skills switch on automatically. It is important to understand that this is not a weakness of character but a learned survival strategy, one that can be recognized and replaced with healthier ways of coping.
How Codependency Support Works at Our Clinic
The first session lasts 60 minutes, in person or by video. The psychotherapist asks about the situation in the family, how long your loved one’s addiction has been going on and how it shows itself, and about your own sleep, health, and safety. Together, we define what you want to change for yourself. After that come weekly individual sessions, and after about 3–4 weeks a group for relatives is usually added. The online format suits most people: you can join from any city in Kazakhstan, as long as you are somewhere your loved one cannot overhear you.
Codependency work is not a way to treat the person with the addiction remotely, nor does it replace addiction treatment for them. If your loved one has seizures, confusion, hallucinations, or signs of an overdose, call 103 or 112. If you or your children are in danger, take care of your safety first and contact the police (102). If you yourself have marked depression, insomnia, or panic, the psychotherapist will recommend a consultation with a psychiatrist.
How we help
Individual psychotherapy
In one-on-one sessions, we go through specific situations: what you felt when your loved one came home drunk again, what you did, and how it turned out. You learn to tell caring apart from rescuing, to notice guilt, and not to act from it. We use techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and emotion-focused work. You set the pace yourself: no one will push you to leave or to stay.
Group for relatives
A group of 6–10 people who live alongside a loved one’s addiction, led by a psychotherapist. This is where many hear for the first time that they are not alone and that their feelings are normal. Participants share their experience and learn from those who are further along the path. The group rule is that what is said in the group stays in the group. We also tell you about free mutual-support groups for relatives that operate in Kazakhstan.
Working with personal boundaries
A boundary is not an ultimatum but a clear decision about what you will and will not do. For example: “I won’t give you money to pay off your debts,” or “When you’re drunk, I’ll go and stay with my sister.” The psychotherapist helps you set boundaries you are genuinely prepared to hold and to prepare for your loved one’s reaction, including manipulation and accusations.
The CRAFT approach for families
Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) was developed for relatives of people with addiction who still refuse treatment. It teaches you to reinforce sober periods, avoid cushioning the natural consequences of use, talk without blame, and choose the right moment to suggest treatment. At the same time, the method reduces tension and anxiety in the relative.
How treatment works
- 01Call or WhatsAppThe administrator and the doctor on duty clarify the situation and tell you what to do right now.
- 02Examination or consultationThe doctor visits your home, sees you at the clinic or joins by video.
- 03Treatment planWe choose the format — at home, inpatient, psychotherapy or rehab — with a clear price.
- 04Ongoing supportYour doctor and psychotherapist stay in touch: follow-ups, family support and relapse prevention.
Myths and facts
MythIf I try harder, they will quit
FactAddiction is an illness, not the result of too little love or care. No amount of control, persuasion, or self-sacrifice can cure another person. It is more helpful to stop taking on someone else’s responsibility and to create conditions in which your loved one makes the decision about treatment themselves.
MythOnly the person who drinks needs help
FactRelatives of people with addiction often suffer from anxiety, insomnia, depression, and stress-related illnesses. The WHO recognizes family support as part of addiction care in its recommendations. As you recover, you stop sustaining the old cycle and help the whole family.
MythCodependency work means being talked into leaving
FactA psychotherapist does not push you toward divorce or a breakup. The goal is for your decisions to become conscious rather than driven by fear and guilt. Some people stay and build new rules; others leave. The choice is always yours.
Prices: Codependency help
| Codependency help | 15 000 ₸ |
| Psychotherapist session (50 min) | 14 990 ₸ |
| Psychologist session (50 min) | 12 000 ₸ |
| Family session (80 min) | 25 000 ₸ |
| Phone consultation | free |
Prices are approximate: the doctor confirms the exact cost after the examination, before treatment starts.
Confidential
We do not register patients with state dispensaries or share information with employers. You do not have to give your surname; doctors arrive in unmarked cars. Medical confidentiality is protected by the Code of Kazakhstan “On Public Health and the Healthcare System”.
Clinic addresses
FAQ
My loved one doesn’t want treatment. Is there any point in me going?
Yes, and this is a very common situation. Working with a relative does not depend on whether the loved one is in treatment. You get support, start sleeping better and thinking more clearly, and stop reinforcing the substance use. Quite often it is the change in the family’s behavior that prompts the person to start thinking about treatment.
Will my loved one find out that I am seeing a psychotherapist?
Only if you decide to tell them. The clinic observes medical confidentiality and does not contact your relatives without your consent. If you are worried they might see your messages or calls, our administrator will suggest a safe way to stay in touch and a suitable time for the consultation.
How is this different from family therapy?
Family therapy involves sessions with several family members when everyone is ready to work together. Codependency support is focused on you personally: your feelings, boundaries, and decisions. You can start even if your loved one is against it. Later, once they begin treatment, you can move on to joint family sessions.
How long does the work take?
Many people notice the first changes, less anxiety and more calm, after 4–6 sessions. The core course usually takes 2–4 months of weekly sessions. Relatives often keep attending the group for longer because they find support there during hard times, such as a loved one’s relapse.
What should I do if my loved one becomes aggressive?
Your safety and your children’s safety come first. Go somewhere safe and call the police at 102 or 112. Do not try to argue with someone who is intoxicated. During a consultation, we will help you draw up a safety plan: where to go, what to take, and whom to call if the situation happens again.
Can I get help if I don’t live in Almaty or Astana?
Yes. Individual sessions and the relatives’ group at Akalam are available online for any city in Kazakhstan. All you need is a stable internet connection and a place where you can speak freely. If an in-person consultation is needed, it can be arranged during a trip to Almaty or Astana.
Sources and review
Prepared by the Akalam medical editorial team based on:
- ICD-10 and ICD-11: mental and behavioural disorders
- Clinical protocols of the Ministry of Health of Kazakhstan
- Code of Kazakhstan “On Public Health and the Healthcare System”
- WHO: mental health and substance use
- NICE and APA clinical guidelines
This information is for reference and does not replace a doctor's consultation. Editorial policy